10 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong!

I've been together with my husband since high school (about 13 years). A lot of my friends wonder how we've made it work, and how we've lasted so long. There are a few things that we've had to compromise and sacrifice in order to make our relationship work for us both. A lot of people look at our lives and feel that everything must be perfect and must had been perfect, but that is far from the truth. We've had to put in a lot of work a lot of time. The saying is true that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but it's greener where you water it! Below are just a few things I believe one must water their grass with in order to make a relationship work.

 

1. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF - in about 10 minutes you can usually tell what a person's intentions are. If you are getting red flags from a  conversation be honest with yourself and ask where is this relationship going to go and what am I looking for? You have to be honest with yourself and no what your morals and beliefs are. These must lineup with your significant other.

 

2. YOU MUST COMPROMISE WITH YOUR PARTNER - A relationship cannot be one sided, you must compromise on some things that really do not matter. If not, you will find yourself arguing over the little things that do not matter. This is a recipe for disaster and a quick break up. 

 

3. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY - you have to be able to trust your partner and your partner partner must be able to trust you. Can you imagine being in a relationship where you can't trust your partner every time they are out of your sight. Or  your partner always questions you about your whereabouts. Once a person break another one's trust it is typically hard to get that trust back, but it is not impossible.

 

4. KEEP YOUR FRIENDS OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP - it's okay to have friends that you talk to about the small things in your relationship. However, if you are having a huge disagreement with your partner it is best to keep your friends out of it. You'll find that your friends are there to support you and when you're thinking irrational they may be irrational as well just because they are your friends. It is always best to talk things through with your partner.

 

5. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES- it is easy for us to focus on all the negative things, all the things which irritated, all the things that are bad about our relationship or partner. Find the things that attracted you to each other in the first place and grow on those things. Yeah he may snore, chew with his mouth full, or talk with a lisp, but at the same time he's very caring, intelligent, and motivated.  Do the positives outweigh the negatives?

 

6. FOCUS ON THOSE THINGS WHICH BROUGHT YOU CLOSER TOGETHER - are you noticing that your partner's seems uninterested in the relationship? My best advice would be to focus on those things that made you fall in love with this person and vice versa. 

 

7. BE EACH OTHER'S BIGGEST MOTIVATOR AND CHEERLEADER - have you ever heard someone say that their partner is their bestfriend? Usually best friends are those who support you in everything that you do and what year you on in till the end. Your partner can absolutely be your best friend to you. If you have this type of relationship you're bound to have a healthy and long relationship with your partner.  One thing that one shouldn't do this to bring their partner down when they're trying to succeed.

 

8. SPICE IT UP A LITTLE - for those relationships over a few years, sometimes it's hard to interest. I mean let's think about this... it is like eating the same meal everyday. Think of all the different ways one could make some chicken! So to keep the spice in the relationship do things different a little, think outside the box, and just be free spirited!

 

9. MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER - I have friends who say that they feel that their significant other is just their roommate and they're only living in the same house. This can be true if people are busy with work, or busy with other thing in their lives. But you really have to make time for your partner even if its once a week where you guys get together and go out to eat. At least it's just your time together and no one else can interrupt. SO important.

 

10. REMEMBER THAT NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT - it's hard to do not compare your relationship to celebrities who you see on TV, or your friends who posed great things about their happy and perfect relationship on Facebook and Instagram. Let's be honest, how many times have we been surprised to see that a so called perfect relationship didn't work out?  Plenty of times! You have to remember that people only post positive things and happy things on Facebook and Instagram so it may seem that way,  but you never know what is going on behind closed doors so never compare. Your relationship is just right.... it's 'perfect'!

 

 

I am by no means an expert in the field of love, relationships, or marriage.  This post is only to share things that have worked in my life and relationship and at only my opinion!  Please subscribe to momentzbytj.blogspot.com!

 

~TJ